Of things that matter most

If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most. - President Uchtdorf

So I used to feel super overwhelmed when it came to blogging and my perfectionist inside of me wanted all my posts in chronological order, highlighting all the exciting things in our life, and organized perfectly with pictures and captions and what not. But since doing that is pretty much impossible to do on a regular basis (for me at least), I decided to just blog when I can and when I want about whatever I want, and keep it more like a journal. Just FYI for the three people who actually read my blog haha :D

Anyways, I've been thinking and reflecting a lot over the last few weeks. And I've realized that coming to pharmacy school has been such a great experience in so many ways, but not in the ways that I had expected before.

If you know me at all, you know that I love school and love learning! I love working hard and studying all night and taking a test and just knocking it out of the park and seeing my hard work pay off. Or at least I used to feel like this... :P

After getting married, for some reason school wasn't as fun and wasn't as fulfilling. I wouldn't want to study as much but still hoped for the same results. And it became more burdensome and stressful and less fun. But still, I thought "I still love school. I loved my years at BYU so 4 more years of pharmacy doesn't sound long at all! It'll be so great!" But my first year of pharmacy school made me feel like school might never end hahaha.

For the first time in 5 years, I had a whole summer to not work, not study, and just enjoy spending time with family and traveling, so going back to school was one of the hardest things ever. The excitement of starting a new adventure rubbed off quickly and the reality of taking 18 credits of pure science classes with two exams every week for a year hit me pretty hard (I'm not exaggerating. We literally had at 21 exams in 12 weeks, NOT including finals during winter semester P1 year). I kept telling myself, "I love this, right? This is interesting, right?" And although at times it really is interesting and in the long run finishing pharmacy school is really what I want to do, I wanted to develop other talents and hobbies and spend my time developing myself in nonacademic ways.

So over the last year I've set aside a lot of "me time" (mostly on Sundays before or after church) to do things that I like. Like photography, watercoloring, crafts, etc. And through all this (and other things like exercising, spending time with family, doing church callings, and studying the gospel), I've realized that life is so much more than school! Quite honestly, school has been my life for the last 20 years (yes, I know it's pretty sad) but I really did love school so much and I liked that it was a huge part of my life. Now though, I think there's so much more to life than straight A's and being at the top of a class (but don't get me wrong, I still try my best to still do well...it's stressful to balance at times but I'm working on it). And thinking about all this made me think of one of my favorite talks from Pres. Uchtdorf that you can read here.

During this school year, Sonhee and Max have said to me numerous times, "wow you seem a lot less stressed than you were last year," or "you seem a lot different than last year..." and such. And I'd say it's true. I enjoy things more. I [try to] stress less. I read a conference talk every morning (I'm still working on the whole ancient scriptures every day thing...but modern scriptures on a daily basis is a start, right? haha). And I've grown so much in ways that have made me a better person in general (I hope!)

So now, I'm okay missing some class to go on a trip with Max. I'm okay not studying as much if it means I can have some me time (for things like painting, photographing, watching election debates, eating ice cream sandwiches :D) and time for family. I'm okay not having as much time for assignments if it means I can go to yoga or go running so I can be healthy.

Although I don't remember all the receptors and chemical structures or the side effects and contraindications I've learned over the last year, pharmacy school has taught me what matters most. And ultimately, I think it's Heavenly Father's way of preparing me for motherhood. Can't wait! :D
#halvsiesarethecutest #curlyhairedasianbabies #crossyourfingers 

September 2015. Tecumseh Sunflower Field, OH

Throwback to Freshman Year

We had Matt Phillips, one my good friends from freshman year, stay with us while he interviewed at OSU for medical school yesterday. It was so fun to see him! And although I hadn't seen him for a while (and hadn't really spent time hanging out with him since he left on his mission after freshman year), we just picked up right where we left off and had a fun night chatting and catching up. We reminisced about this one time we went to the Canon center on a Saturday morning, and sat there all day studying for our Chem 106 final. Literally, we were there for all 3 meals and set up our little study space in one of the booths they had right next to the waffle machine. (I can't even remember how many waffles with ice cream I ate that day... #freshmanfifteen). And about this one time Tenery, Matt, and I spent an afternoon in April laying on the grass outside of the dorms on a blanket just having fun and taking pictures and being silly.

As I sat in bed ready to go to sleep last night, I reminisced about other fond memories I had of freshman year. The late night vending machine runs. Hallway dance parties. 2 hour dinners at the Cannon Center with the "Confederacy" every night (we had a group of 6 girls and 6 boys that always hung out together our freshman year, and Will for some reason named us the Confederacy. I guess he is from the south after all :P). And other crazy things immature freshman do best.
Good times. Good times.

On being social

You may or may not know, but I'm an extroverted introvert. I was actually a really quiet girl when I was little and I didn't start making myself more outgoing and extroverted until after moving to California. I'm sandwiched between two sisters who are extremely outgoing and extroverted (more naturally than I am) and I always thought, "maybe I should be more like them..." So I tried it out and became an extroverted introvert. But being social takes effort, and sometimes I don't like the burden of socializing and making conversation so I naturally like staying in the comfort of my own home, hanging out with the few I feel really comfortable with (mostly just Max). 

A lot of people say the first few months of being married, you fall off the face of the earth and all you want to do is spend time with your husband enjoying the bliss of newlywed life. Most people grow out of this after a few months though and start being more social with other couples and do lots of group dates and activities. The thing with me is I don't think I ever grew out of that phase. For example, my single birthday wish for this year was to spend a straight 24 hours with Max (and lucky for me I actually got like 40 straight hours with him!). Yeah, corny I know. But as a med-pharm student couple with other familial, extracurricular, and church obligations, we rarely have the chance to be together for a whole day uninterrupted.

I always say, I would be perfectly content living under a rock with Max (with access to other family, of course). But Max disagrees. And I'm glad he does, because he always encourages me to be more social and make more friends. Although sometimes I would rather go on dates just the two of us rather than double/group dates, I'm glad Max organizes ways for us go on group dates and hang out with other people. Because in the end I really enjoy them! And I'm reminded that yes, friends are good and friends are fun! And I'm so grateful for the friends that we've made, especially since coming to Columbus :)